I have said it before, and I’ll say it again, being in a partnership is hard. If it wasn’t for the path my life took, I’m pretty sure I would have taken Partner R for granted. It’s so easy to do and fall into a habit of. But this can also change with gratitude.
Being taken for granted
To be seen as another piece of the furniture in a relationship can be deflating. There comes a time where what you do is just what is expected- the norm. There is no more appreciation towards what you do or even how you are. You are just… so. Just… there. It is such a shitty place to be in. But often, it goes unnoticed. That’s life! Suck it up! However, should you continue to choose being taken for granted? And if you don’t want to live as if you’re the beige crayon in the box, how do you change that?
Taking your loved one for granted
Now let’s put the shoe on the other foot. Your partner goes to work. Well derrrrr they’re supposed to. Bang! Taken for granted. Here’s another example: your parents let you sleep over in their home with your baby. Ummmm they’re grandparents an this is a joy to them- in fact I am doing them a favour. Boom! Taken for granted. Okay, last one, you go to the same person or people to share your woes and challenges, just expecting that is what they should do because that’s friendship. Could it be possible that you can take your friends for granted too? Yep! You can also take your friends for granted.
The Power of Thank You
I listened to a podcast last week about the “Power of Thank You”. It got me thinking, if genuinely thanking someone for something they do for you, as part of routine or expectation, would the dynamics of the household/family/friendship change? Would that whole concept of, “taking one another for granted”, disappear? If you showed genuine gratitude, would it increase the value and quality of your relationships?
Partner R and I tried out sincerely thanking one another after hearing this podcast. I consciously observed what my partner did and was grateful for it. I am lucky to have someone who supports me. My partner thanked me for cooking, taking care of Butterball and for the upkeep of the house. Weirdly, I felt good about myself- the power of thank you was cetainly waving its magic.
Here’s a fun fact: did you know that verbalising gratitude stimulates multiple parts of your brain? It magically produces seratonin and dopamine, which in turn provides happiness and motivation. Thanks for that, gratitude!
My eyes are open to the good things and for that, life is not heavy and I am grateful. In fact, I feel really good. Would you give it a go? Believe me, it leaves you feeling complete.
Meme taken from the kindness_is_beautiful instagram page
Podcast: Healthy Her by Amelia Phillips; how not to murder your partner