Living with a partner is hard. Without communication and transparency, it pretty much signals doom. I now understand the common phrase, “relationships need to be worked on”. Both parties being open, honest and straight forward is the hard work.
I have made the rookie error thinking that my partner can read my mind. Truth be told, no one can read your thoughts. And no matter how hard I have tried, ESP does not work. For example, when my partner goes to the supermarket, I have tried to chant in my mind, “bring home ice cream“. It has never, ever worked. If it has for you in your partnership, I seriously applaud you both- bravo! However, I know for me and my experiences, if you’re upset, angry, annoyed, or need something – SPEAK UP! Expecting someone to know what’s going on inside your head is unfair to both of you.
Moving in and living with someone, whether it be your house mate, partner or family member is interesting. This gives you an insight of how they were raised- and reflects how you were brought up. Seriously, a partnership with neat and messy attributes are like mixing oil and water. From my experiences and conversations, a lot of disagreements are based around housework. Cue Rage Cleaning from the neat freak and confused looks from the oblivious mess head.
Solo to Duo to Uh oh
If you have ever lived on your own, you learn a lot about yourself. Some people love it, some don’t. Personally, living on my own was THE BEST. I just did whatever I liked, whenever I pleased, however I wanted. I always tend to thrive when on my own. So here is another challenge- learning to live with someone whilst trying to maintain who you are or for something even more difficult, grow. Once, I lost myself so far, that not even a map could locate the real me. It was all about trying to be the perfect partner and not open up about anything. What I have learned is that the best relationships thrive from not being scared to share your opinion and most importantly by being true to who you are. Relationships prosper from a good argument every now and again. Great relationships flourish when both parties are active listeners, observers and reflectors.
Love dies or survives
There is nothing harder than having to admit that your love and passion has died. Being on the receiving end of this is worse. For the love to be revived (well, that is the hardest work imagineable, which sometimes cannot be done), both parties need to be involved in bringing the love back. Once someones heart is covered in clunky armour, it is often impenetrable. The heart is both strong and fragile that needs nurturing.
Partnerships don’t just magically happen and float along perfectly. From my experience, both parties need to try their utmost best whilst challenging their comfort zones in order to achieve longevity.