“Hold onto your britches”, she said to her friend who was leaning in, clutching her coffee cup.
I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Often, when I go out solo, I do my own thing and plot my next plan. But these women, a good two decades older than myself, oozed wisdom, effervescence and funkiness. They were discussing the beginning of transition. A journey leading to something that is unknown and brilliant. It presents you new and challenging obstacles that force you to grow along the way- whether you want to or not- until you reach the bigger picture.
I dub this transition phase, “The Waterslide Effect”. My friends and I counsel each other when we feel we are on this waterslide. You can either grip the sides tightly and delay the life change, allowing life to squeak along the edges and go painfully slow… or … you can just put your hands up in the air, surrendering to the mind boggling twists, steep descents of, “what the fucks?”, and slaps to the face that make you wake up to realities you have chosen to deny for so long.
Right now, I am trying to make sense of my current life phase- enter new mother territory. It took me 9 soul fulfilling months to realise that I am, once again, on this magnificent fucker of a slide. My logical self says, “derrrr, you’re a mum now, of course life has changed. Deal with it and enjoy”. But in reality, I feel like I am gasping for air, saying goodbye to the old me. The me who was independent, somewhat in control and in tune with herself. Farewell indulgences. Au revoir disposable income. Hello to the life I have desperately wanted for so long, but need to tune into another frequency to find myself- yet again.
Every time I do make that splash into the pool at the end of this transition phase, life seems clearer. The bigger picture is realised, and lessons experienced make sense. I just need to trust life, remember that tough times don’t last forever and optimism is a powerful tool for achieving resilience.
This blog is a way of me trying to make sense of motherhood. So I am holding onto my britches and making my waterslide adventure open to anyone who can relate, resonate or impart wisdom on discovering who I am- again.